Thursday, 14 April 2011

A glimpse of our White Kitchen ...

Things are slowly taking shape in our kitchen redo. The wait for the material is finally over and so we are piercing the pieces together day by day. Thanks loukung for your daily commitment! Love you. Muakssss ...

Sometimes, I feel really bad for this kitchen re-do wish. Deep inside, I know its selfish of me to ask for a change although our kitchen is still in perfect working condition. But the kitchen colour had been bugging me for a long time - me wanting the space to be brighter etc ...  and I guess, hub also wants me to take pride and joy in this very precious space hence him going with my wish to get the doors all changed to glossy white. The kitchen frame stays and I swear I can hear a sign of relieve from hubby when I said it.  He installed the frame with his dad when he was walking still - so I guess it is a piece of great memory for him to hold on too.


This week, something heartfelt happened.  I decided to jot this down because I want to remind myself that not all things new are better and some things are memories that cannot be replace - just like this kitchen frame which hub and his dad built together.  

Yesterday, I realised that the ring which my mum gave me missing on my finger.  I suspect its been two days since its been gone.  When I realised them yesterday while shopping, I cannot help weeping on the way back from the shop while scanning thru each and every square inch of the space I pass thru when I make my way there. My mind was running thru images of all the great things we use to do together.  It saddens me further when I realise that this infact is the only precious item we go buy together before she got wheelchaired bound and it was indeed a great day out for me, mum and my sister.  It is not just any ring but the last piece of item I have of her when she was ... herself.

Today is day two of me constantly fiddling with my left ring finger.  I know this sound dramatic and emotional to you,  but it is as it is to me and it is one of those things that I cannot let go in my mind.  I´ve lost many things in my life but ... its strange.  It had never felt this way, this sense of lost and unforgiving towards myself.  I know.  I should not be too hard on myself, but I cannot help it.  I will keep on searching in every god-damn inch of this house.  But I really must say thank you to those of you whom had been giving me encouraging words and some asking me to instill faith that the ring will be found again, and if I can´t find them back, the memories are deep in my heart.  Rightly sad ...

Thank you (you know who you are) for your encouraging words ...

So today, I will have another attempt in the garden ... wish me luck.  I need it.

p/s : our work in progress photo in the kitchen ...

5 comments:

  1. The colourful kitchen doors are cute too.

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  2. Its not bad but this Susan prefer boring white still :-P

    Can you believe that hub got inspirated from one of Kylie´s concert he attended?

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  3. i also light white kitchens for some reason

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  4. I wonder if that has to do with all the cooking programmes we watch? :-P

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