To my beloved friends and readers, I know I have totally abandoned my two precious blogs for some weeks now without giving a proper explanation of what actually happened, except that my mum´s not well and I had to pack my bag a week earlier than planned to be with her. Some of my dear friends actually dropped me messages to ask for right time to call but I could not even do that coz I was in such an emotional wreck that week. But all is good now and my mum is well.
It all happened when my sis started updating me about my mum´s deteriotating condition which left her unable to eat and drink. She was vomiting constantly and doctor could not rule out anything except to suggest her to do more test to determine the reason. They didn´t want to admit her as it was not serious enough it seems but I was rather skeptical as she was admited to UH and UH, though is a fairly good hospital, they are also knowned to turn away patients due to resources constraint. Anyway, when I was back in Malaysia, they had ruled out blood and urine infection. Due to my dad´s negligence in giving her the same dosage of diabetic medication minus the eating and drinking, it worsen further and got my mum into hypo stage which explains why she was not responding to anyone during the last week when I decided to fly back. My dad subsequently got ill due to the 3 weeks of non-stop monitoring of my mum, and my sis too, whom were 7 months pregnant were diagnosed with high blood pressure and diabetic. Everything was in a mess, chaotic and they needed moral support.
But what actually broke me was a stupid news ... and it was not once, but twice.
My brother, whom totally believes in chinese medium practise had went to seek advise on my mum´s condition. I know. What is a girl like me believing in such a thing. But trust me, when one is faraway, and can only hope to listen to her mum´s voice but could not coz she is too weak, and can only rely on another person to tell her how good or bad the condition is, I was not ready to take chances. The thing is ... the first medium said that she had 10 more days to live. I broke down, cried over the phone with my sis and tried to think of a way to explain this to my other half. But after the scare, it suddenly came to me and my sister´s senses to not believe 100% in such practises, and naturally, I was cursing under my breathe why would my brother go seek such information at the first place? To me, some things are better left unknown. And so, a few nights before I departed, I requested for my sis to try and admit her into the hospital again (and need not be UH, although it is best there coz they have ALL of my mum´s record). At the same time, both of us asked my brother to go seek second opinion. Since we´ve come this far, we can´t turn back isn´t it? The dangling feeling of what if were haunting us still and we figured, we just had too. And so, 3 days after ... my brother went to seek second opinion and guess what? The second opinion said she had 7 days LEFT!
This was the reason why I flew back.
I didn´t care by than if the information was realiable or not, coz all I was thinking of was ... I wanna tell my mum how much I love her and I felt that I have not told her enough. I wanted to say that to her face to face and I wanted her to know again that I love her. I wanted to hug her frail body frame and kiss her unconditionally and tell her that everything will be alright. I wanted to tell her that I miss her very much and I think of her constantly.
I was not late in telling her that and I am so thankful that I manage to do that.
I love you mum, and nothing can change that.
Here´s a family photo I wish to share with you all. It was taken on the eve of our departure date. Everyone was there, from my brother and his girlfriend, the new maid Sumi whom my sis engaged in to care for my mum, my dad, my sis, her hubby Ben, Ashleen and her grandma whom came all the way down from Penang to care for my sis coz she was having fainting spell. The other maid Linda whom cares for Ashleen and my mum originally, were back in Indonesia as her dad passed away that very week. She´s a great help to the family and I could not thank her more for what she´d done. Everyone had been great, and I´m so glad to have such supportive and loving family back home.
Now that I am entering Deutschland afresh as a spouse, it felt kinda different really. I am settling here for good, I hope that everyone back home will be in pink of health for long time to come.
And to my fiance, Juergen ... I love him for being there for me. There´s more on that laterrrrr